Sleepless nights. Im not sure how it begins, but a thought starts racing. I am planning graduation, worried about the prom dress, can’t remember if I took my (sleep) medication. I toss to one side, then the other. OK, I’ll think good thoughts, - remembering the vacation we were just on…the water, the sun – time with my family. I start listing off all the good things in my life..and there are so many – so I keep going, thinking and thinking.
Then I start thinking about the future and how everything will turn out. My thoughts manifest with my career and if I’m doing it all right – you know the way I am supposed to, my purpose. I begin listing things off in my head for an upcoming TV segment that Lifetherapy is a part of, trying to remember anything I didn’t remember. This is what business owners do, we think and think and think. I am processing how it will feel in 3 months when I look across the hall and see the room that is empty as my first born begins her journey at college. How will we all adjust?
My mind now wanders to a previous daily reading titled “Rest in the Stillness” –and I am dwelling on the “rest” that I cannot find. I go back to the Lord’s words “I am always with you, so you have no reason to be afraid. Your fear often manifests itself into excessive planning. Your mind is accustomed to this pattern…..”.
I realize I am wandering down this path again…worrying, thinking, processing, but I can’t make it stop.
So I get up, I pray for the anxiousness to pass, I feed the dogs, all wondering why we are up so early…and I decide to read today’s reading – (after-all, it is today - even at this wee hour) maybe this will jolt me in to peace. “Make Me your focal point as you move through this day. Circumstances are in flux, and the world seems to be whirling around you. The only way to keep your balance is to keep your eyes focused on Me, the one who never changes. If you gaze too long at your circumstances, you will become dizzy and confused”.
Dizzy and confused are probably pretty solid adjectives to describe me at the moment. Do you ever feel this way? I’d love to talk “relatable” worries we all fester in the night; share some tips in how we can encourage each other to “Rest in the Stillness” and just let our bodies replenish and fill up on the nourishment our souls need. He is there, watching over us anyway – so why should we both be up?
If you’re awake at night – I’m rooting for you to have a better nights rest tonight.