Judgment takes up a lot of heavy energy in our systems. Judgement weighs us down, no matter if we are judging ourselves or others. And judgement is sneaky: it feels almost instinctual, but it's thoroughly harmful despite its disguise of being a natural reflex.
Judgment comes from insecurity. It affects us more inwardly than out. The acceptance that we’re all capable of everything – of acting a certain way, of having bad habits, of not being perfect – is the first step in stopping judgement.
The next time you find yourself projecting judgement: on yourself, on a friend making a wrong decision, or on a colleague who is dropping the ball at work, offer up understanding. Say, “There’s no judgment here, explain to me what I don’t know about what is going on.”
People are afraid to say things because they’re afraid of your judgment. If people see that you’re willing to talk about anything without judgment, so much more will come out. The way to be gentle with judgments is to be strong with our empathy. People can feel the difference. When you show up with empathy and curiosity about what’s going on for a particular person, love and concern prevail.
One morning this week, dedicate time to thinking about a recent instance where you unnecessarily judged. Go back and think about how you would do it differently next time, radiating acceptance, understanding and empathy. Practice the phrase “There’s no judgment here, explain to me what I don’t know about what is going on.” Watch as people let you in to a greater extent because they know they will not be judged. By not judging, you’re doing an amazing thing both for yourself, and for others.